Passover is a time when we all get together to celebrate our freedom and depart from bread for a week. Here’s a list of the funniest things you’ll hear at your seder. Happy Passover!
1. I wish they sold matzah year-round.
Keywords: חָמֵץ
Transliteration: chah-metz
Translation: leavened bread
2. Gefilte fish? My favorite!
Keywords: מַאֲכָל אָהוּב עָלַי
Transliteration: mah-ah-chal ah-hoov al-eye
Translation: my favorite food
3. I don’t know what’s worse: the 10 plagues, or finding parking in Tel Aviv.
Keywords: עִשֵּׂר מַכּוֹת
Transliteration: eh-ser mah-kot
Translation: 10 plagues
4. If Moses split the Red Sea, can he split the traffic jam on the way to the seder?
Keywords: פְּקַק תְּנוּעָה
Transliteration: p’kahk t’noo-ah
Translation: traffic jam
5. This is the first time I’ve cleaned my apartment all year.
Keywords: נִקְיוֹן פֶּסַח
Transliteration: nee-kai-ohn peh-sach
Translation: Passover cleaning
6. I’m going Gluten-free after Passover.
Keywords: לְלֹא גְּלוּטֵן
Transliteration: leh-loh gloo-ten
Translation: Gluten-free
7. This is my last meal all week – I have to work off the Seder calories.
Keywords: סְעוּדָה אַחֲרוֹנָה
Transliteration: seh-ooh-dah ach-roh-nah
Translation: last supper
8. My favorite part of the Passover seder is having my entire extended family ask me why I’m not married yet.
Keywords: ?מָתַי הַחֲתֻונָּה
Transliteration: mah-tai hah-chah-too-nah?
Translation: When’s the wedding?
9. I’m 27! Why do I still have to sing “Mah Nishtana”?!
Keywords: דַּי דַּיֵּנוּ
Transliteration: dai dai-aye-noo
Translation: enough is enough
10. We have to finish reading the Haggadah!
Keywords: אִם כְּבָר אָז כְּבָר
Transliteration: eem k’var ahz k’var
Translation: Let’s finish what we started.
11. Dad hides the afikoman in the same spot every year.
Keywords: לְהַחְבִּיא
Transliteration: leh-hach-bee
Translation: to hide
12. Did we stock up on Bamba and Bissli for the bread apocalypse?
Keywords: פַּחְמֵימוֹת
Transliteration: pahch-meh-moht
Translation: carbohydrates
13. Why can’t we eat peanuts? I wish we were Mizrachi.
Keywords: קִטְנִיּוֹת
Transliteration: keet-nee-yot
Translation: legumes
14. Can we have a “Mimouna” even though we’re Ashkenazi?
Keywords: מִימוּנָה
Transliteration: mee-moo-nah
Translation: Mimouna (Moroccan celebration at the end of Passover)
