Citizen Cafe Tel Aviv

The Funniest Things You’ll Overhear During Passover

Bites | 1 min read
Yonatan Engler
Yonatan Engler

Passover is a time when we all get together to celebrate our freedom and depart from bread for a week. Here’s a list of the funniest things you’ll hear at your seder. Happy Passover!

1. I wish they sold matzah year-round.

Keywords: חָמֵץ

Transliteration: chah-metz

Translation: leavened bread

2. Gefilte fish? My favorite!

Keywords: מַאֲכָל אָהוּב עָלַי

Transliteration: mah-ah-chal ah-hoov al-eye

Translation: my favorite food

3. I don’t know what’s worse: the 10 plagues, or finding parking in Tel Aviv.

Keywords: עִשֵּׂר מַכּוֹת

Transliteration: eh-ser mah-kot

Translation: 10 plagues

4. If Moses split the Red Sea, can he split the traffic jam on the way to the seder?

Keywords: פְּקַק תְּנוּעָה

Transliteration: p’kahk t’noo-ah

Translation: traffic jam

5. This is the first time I’ve cleaned my apartment all year.

Keywords: נִקְיוֹן פֶּסַח

Transliteration: nee-kai-ohn peh-sach

Translation: Passover cleaning

6. I’m going Gluten-free after Passover.

Keywords: לְלֹא גְּלוּטֵן

Transliteration: leh-loh gloo-ten

Translation: Gluten-free

7. This is my last meal all week – I have to work off the Seder calories.

Keywords: סְעוּדָה אַחֲרוֹנָה

Transliteration: seh-ooh-dah ach-roh-nah

Translation: last supper

8. My favorite part of the Passover seder is having my entire extended family ask me why I’m not married yet.

Keywords: ?מָתַי הַחֲתֻונָּה

Transliteration: mah-tai hah-chah-too-nah?

Translation: When’s the wedding?

9. I’m 27! Why do I still have to sing “Mah Nishtana”?!

Keywords: דַּי דַּיֵּנוּ

Transliteration: dai dai-aye-noo

Translation: enough is enough

10. We have to finish reading the Haggadah!

Keywords: אִם כְּבָר אָז כְּבָר

Transliteration: eem k’var ahz k’var

Translation: Let’s finish what we started.

11. Dad hides the afikoman in the same spot every year.

Keywords: לְהַחְבִּיא

Transliteration: leh-hach-bee

Translation: to hide

12. Did we stock up on Bamba and Bissli for the bread apocalypse?

Keywords: פַּחְמֵימוֹת

Transliteration: pahch-meh-moht

Translation: carbohydrates

13. Why can’t we eat peanuts? I wish we were Mizrachi.

Keywords: קִטְנִיּוֹת

Transliteration: keet-nee-yot

Translation: legumes

14. Can we have a “Mimouna” even though we’re Ashkenazi?

Keywords: מִימוּנָה

Transliteration: mee-moo-nah

Translation: Mimouna (Moroccan celebration at the end of Passover)

 

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